With no sports on TV and the Eagles world tour on indefinite hiatus, this has not been the best couple months for dads. Yours has likely had to re-prioritize a few things in his life, which means picking up new skills (learning how to voice text!) and spending more time at home (driving your mom insane!). Dad used to be able to simply retreat to his man cave to watch Jeopardy reruns and get away from it all – but 2020 has been more of a metaphorical man prison from which there’s precious little escape.
That’s where you come to the rescue. Help dad chill and get back to his old man self with these 7 Strains perfect for Father’s Day.
Bruce Banner – for the dad who’s gone three whole days without cleaning the garage
The measure of a man’s productivity is in broom bristles frayed and sports equipment neatly tucked into various cupboards. As the name implies, this strain will give your dad the superhuman strength to stack sandbags in one corner of the garage, and the mental dexterity to hang tennis balls from wires in the exact right spot to ensure a perfect park.
Super Silver Cheese – fore the linksy dad
As dad has been quick to tell you, golf is the ultimate socially-distanced activity. And even though you know dad keeps to himself on the course because he’s so busy looking for his Top Flite in the woods, you can still help him pursue his sporting passions with this light and playful strain.
Black Banana x GMO – for the dad whose couch imprint is too shallow
Dad may not have memorized the channel numbers for his favorite shows, but he’ll have all the time in the world to scroll through the 900s in search of old westerns thanks to this heavy strain. If he ever learns how to work the DVR, he might actually be absorbed into the cushions.
Wedding Cake Gelato – to spark the romance that made mom fall in love
Look, you don’t necessarily want to think about your parents getting hot and heavy like they did when you were conceived in the back of an ‘83 Celica. But with this calming strain in his body, an old wedding photo album open on his lap and Rod Stewart’s Body Wishes on the cassette player, dad and mom are gonna do what they do.
Jawa Kush – so dad doesn’t have to wear kneepads to dinner
Everything hurts. That’s what dad says whether you ask him how his day’s going or what the weather will be tomorrow. Pain is on his mind, and Jawa Kush is the perfect strain to take it off.
Mandarin Dreams – for the dad adding chill to his grill
There’s no love quite like the kind between a dad and his grill. He cried harder when his burners crapped out than when you went away to college. This special relationship deserves a special strain, one on which dad can still entertain the neighbors while staying focused on the heat of his meat.
Gelato 33 – for the dad who treats shopping like a chore
It’s a sad sight to watch dad with 5 shopping bags in hand, dragging 20 feet behind mom as she zooms around Target picking up fixtures for the newly-remodeled hallway bathroom. This strain makes the store feel like a grand adventure, giving dad a much-needed smile on every aisle.